Badmin Gauntlet

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Ganymedian Wizard
Access: None
Additional Access: Wherever you can Super Jump to
Difficulty: Perfectly Balanced (Excruciatingly Hard)
Supervisors: Farming Subsidies
Duties: Welcome the crew to Balance
Guides: This
Quote: *snap

If the crew has 27 or more people, congratulations! You can purchase the Badmin Gauntlet to welcome everyone to DIE, assuming you can steal those precious stones from the crew!



Putting on the Badmin Gauntlet will initiate a Declaration of War, and scatter stones all across the station. It even plays music to accompany it, ensuring that anyone deaf or blind will immediately know what's up, assuming they don't notice the screams of "OHH GODs" and "EVERYONE TO HOP FOR ALL-ACCESS" over communications the moment the gauntlet is purchased. It's the crew's job to defend the stones until the shuttle arrives, or kill the Wizard. The Wizard's job, on the other hand, is to take all of the stones and snap his fingers!

The Wizard

As the bearer of the Gauntlet, you immediately become bigger, buffer, angrier, and gain an assortment of benefits such as bomb immunity, fire-proofing, space-proofing, and so on.

You also gain a Stone Pinpointer, at the top right of your screen, which will track a specific stone of your choosing. Click on it to set what stone to track.

Unfortunately, this comes at the cost of not being able to use guns, stuns, or other Wizard spells. Instead, you'll get four versatile "default spells" which will be available throughout the stone modes:

Spell name Description Cooldown
in seconds
Default Spells
Shockwave Instantly knocks everyone around you down for a short period of time. Your main means of getting people off of you, or engaging. 20
Bull Charge Powers you up so you can slam into people to knock them down and deal some damage. Heals you very minimally when you run into someone. 25
Super Jump Likely your most useful spell by far, Super Jump is how you'll be travelling around the station, getting in and out of battles, and more. Landing on top of someone will deal extra damage, and if you have someone in an aggressive grab, superjumping will take them with you and powerbomb them. A shadow is left underneath you while jumping, so the crew can see when you're coming or where you're running to. 30
Regenerate Slowly heals you over time. Forces you to stand still while healing, or else you'll cancel the regen. Reliable when medbay has guzzled up all of the meds, and because you don't have a backpack. 10

They don't sound very powerful at first, but when combined with the Gauntlet, you very quickly become as powerful as a dumpster truck, able to take down crowds one by one or charge in and deal massive damage before escaping.

The Gauntlet and its modes

Your Gauntlet is a surprisingly lethal melee weapon, with decent armor penetration and 25 brute, it's a force to be reckoned with. You can even punch down walls, windows, and bust open lockers with Harm Intent. However, while you're in the Default or Syndie modes, you also gain access to CQC which can be used while smacking people with the gauntlet its self. This effectively doubles your damage as well as giving you combos, and is what mainly makes you so deadly. But just by its self, the stonekeepers all have means to get around your meager melee range and AOE stuns, so it'll be an uphill battle to try and acquire them.

Once you have a stone, press Z to open a radial menu and select a stone. NONE will simply take you to the Default Mode, and will get replaced by the Syndie Stone if you happen to acquire it. Note that while you're not in the Default or Syndie Stone modes, you do NOT have access to CQC!

While in a Stone Mode, the Gauntlet will behave exactly as it does for the crew, give or take a few spells. See Stoneholders for more information.

Fighting the Crew

Here's a table of what to expect from the crew.

Name Threat Typical Appearance & Job Description
Dead Joe None
Role: Giving you a nice conversation in deadchat, ensuring you can never escape.

Notes: Likely murdered by you, or suicided before you even showed up because not antag. May be whining in deadchat.
Alternatively, they may be calling out your location to the Ghost Stonekeeper. Always be prepared!

Terrorist None
Generic scientist.png
Role: Attempting to bomb you, getting banned.

Notes: Bombs deal zero damage to you, even if they're maxcaps, as does the Bag of Holding's tear in reality. These guys end up feeding you wins more often than not. So by all means, let them do what they want.

Oblivious Joe Low
Generic assistant2.png
Role: Cannon fodder.

Notes: Your apathetic crewmember, new guy, or that one player who doesn't want to have to deal with you and would rather do their job.

Mall Cop Low
Security Officer
Role: Trying to bring out justice, the Lawful Stupid way.

Notes: Ganymedes (e.g the Wizard) can't be stunned, so these morons' attempts to handcuff you typically end with them getting pulverized. It sometimes might be best to leave them alive so they can hog items and keep being useless. Just note that disablers still slow you down, so they may end up proving a threat regardless of their intelligence.

Average Joe Medium
Role: Shooting you. A lot.

Notes: Typically, the thing that kills you is getting cornered by these guys - NOT the stonekeepers. It's worth it to kill these guys if they're especially persistent, or if they're actually doing their jobs and dragging stonekeepers away from you. Especially beware people with shotguns, two of them can kill you in seconds flat even with your amazing armor.

Syndie Stonekeeper Medium
Head of Security
Role: Shooting you, thinking a riot shield will help him against AOE stuns.

Notes: The Syndie Stone lacks useful spells for the crew in its current state, and most Head of Security players tend to be egotistical nerds who think they can solo everyone, resulting in them doing something by themselves in some corner of the station. Just be careful, the ones who are actually smart will give you a fight to the death along with some backup.
Out of all the stoneholders, they tend to be the easiest to isolate and kill, sometimes even easier than the Average Joe.

Clown Stonekeeper Medium
Role: AOE healing, being insanely annoying.

Notes: Do not underestimate the clumsy clown. His stone, while not a huge threat to you, has one extremely powerful spell called Party Popper, which will gib the user and fully heal everyone around him. This includes bringing people back from the dead. While this does heal you as well, you'd best hope he doesn't decide to gather a huge pile of corpses and then party pop to instantly bring back a mob of shotgunners.

Bluespace Stonekeeper Medium
Generic rd.png
Research Director
Role: Wasting your time.

Notes: The Bluespace Stonekeeper generally poses little to no threat to you, at least no more than the Average Joe, but where they excel is cockroaching. The main way you'll tend to kill these guys is by stunning them when they're on jaunt cooldown, or stunning them when they had their stone in their hand. Otherwise, they'll always find a way to escape and heal up. Chasing them is key, if you dealt a lot of damage they'll likely hide in some shaft close by and start slapping on patches.
If you need to know how robust they may be, look at their gender. Male? They might have an idea. Female? They'll run at you and die.

Lag Stonekeeper Medium
Role: Disorienting you, making you incapable of doing anything for a good chunk of time.

Notes: One shot. That's all it takes for the Lag Stone to ruin your day, with its disorienting laser. Sure, the thing doesn't deal any damage, but you'll wish it would have when you start smacking yourself with your own Gauntlet thanks to your screen shaking around. Even then, good luck, that's likely the Quartermaster with that thing, and he's the one who orders the guns.

Supermatter Stonekeeper High
Chief Engineer
Role: Pew pew! That or walking around in his hardsuit and dying.

Notes: Prepare to get shot, a lot. While the damage on its own might not be much, it with a crowd can rack up easily, and he has a limitless supply of ammo. Try to corner him? He can use Spacetime Distortion to ensure you can't hit him, confuse you, and get away on top of all that. Steal his stone while he's shooting you or pray to god that you still have Shockwave, because if not you're about to get riddled with lasers, flaming crystals, and forcefire. Know that it'll be all worth the effort to get rid of it. A small price to pay for salvation.

Ghost Stonekeeper High
Role: Reconnaissance. Shooting you with the power of EI NATH when several ghosts orbit him.

Notes: Prepare to get shot, a lot, just like the Supermatter Stonekeeper. If not, he'll be hiding somewhere informing the crew of your every step. Don't Super Jump in to attack him if he has pals, Heaven's Fortress will lock you in with him and will usually end with you getting murdered by his pals. He can even reset your spell cooldowns with Sandman's Dust, which makes him a massive threat if he's on the move. If he's competent, he'll be your biggest threat by a long shot. Taking care of him early will make the ghosts very mad however, the hardest choices require the strongest wills.

The Crew

Gavel.png Do not grief during Declaration of War

If you see someone running around stealing stones or griefing in general during Declaration of War, ADMINHELP IT.
Do not try to resolve the situation yourself, you'll likely just make everything worse.

To defeat the Wizard, shoot at him until he dies.

Also don't lose the stones.


Don't die. Tip: Dread it. Run from it. Destiny still arrives.

The Spells

Ghost Stone

Jobs on Hippie Station


Command Captain, Head of Personnel
Security Head of Security, Security Officer, Warden, Detective
Engineering Chief Engineer, Station Engineer, Atmospheric Technician
Science Research Director, Scientist, Roboticist
Medical Chief Medical Officer, Medical Doctor, Chemist, Geneticist, Virologist
Service Janitor, Bartender, Cook, Botanist, Clown, Mime, Chaplain, Curator
Civilian Quartermaster, Cargo Technician, Shaft Miner, Assistant, Lawyer
Non-human AI, Cyborg, Positronic Brain, Drone, Personal AI, Construct, Ghost
Antagonists Traitor, Malfunctioning AI, Changeling, Nuclear Operative, Blood Cultist, Revolutionary, Wizard, Blob, Abductor, Holoparasite, Xenomorph, Spider, Swarmers, Revenant, Morph, Nightmare, Space Ninja, Slaughter Demon, Pirate, Sentient Disease, Thanos
Special CentCom Official, Death Squad Officer, Emergency Response Officer, Chrono Legionnaire, Highlander, Ian, Lavaland Role
Races Humans, Lizardperson, Flyperson, Plasmaman, Podman, Golem, Miscellaneous
Antagtemp.png Game Modes on Hippie Station
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Nuclear Emergency




Blood Cult

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Clockwork Cult



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Other Modes